meDuring the soupiest and dirtiest weeks of August in New York City, I notice a shift in energy. Languor gives way to a kind of fevered camaraderie—everyone wants to go to the beach, have drinks on a rooftop, go on a date, squeeze in the weekend. There is a terrified sense of lack, of darkness when it comes to school.
We cling to the idea of summer as it slips through our fingers because it’s special. I love the outdoors of the season and being bombarded by other people’s lives as we enjoy all the outdoor space we can get. This is a time to feel connected to people, nature, the sun – to send a message to a friend “I’m here – join us!” We are looser, freer, wilder. Caleb Azumah Nelson describes blossoming romance in his novel Small Worlds this way: “Because it’s summer and anything is possible …” Summer is hopeful. It’s fun.
I have always had a physical aversion to the end of August; His ripeness disgusts me like a rotting fruit that stains the earth. But when I moved to the US, nothing prepared me for the desolation of Labor Day: the formal end of summer with the brutal start of September, weeks (sometimes months!) before the sun sets.
My sadness at the end of summer is worse than ever. Am I just making it up?
Is end-of-summer sadness a real thing?
“August mental health increase is very high real thing,” Dr David Rosmarin, associate professor at Harvard Medical School and founder of the Center for Anxiety, assures me. This increase as summer turns to fall is known by psychologists as fall anxiety, or back-to-school anxiety.
The main cause of anxiety, Rosmarin explains, is “the delta between expectations and reality.” When a rift widens between the two, “it’s seen as ‘oh shit, something’s wrong with me.’ I shouldn’t feel like this.'”
There are also physiological reasons for anxiety spikes this summer, says Rosmarin. The hot weather makes it “harder to process, harder to think,” he says. “Some of the physical symptoms of anxiety can mimic it: unexplained sweating, it can be harder to breathe.” People’s routines are thrown off and sleep worsens, both of which can lead to anxiety.
There’s also pressure to make the most of the season and the potential for self-recrimination if you think you didn’t. More than 40% of American workers don’t take vacation time, which can be regrettable. “Americans are so hard on themselves and so hypercritical and too focused on ‘what I should have done, could have done,'” says Rosmarin.
Our expectations for the season can be high. “Summer is what we’ve been waiting for all year,” says Julia Carmel, a culture reporter who wrote the New York Times’ “Summer in the City” newsletter for two years. “People just get attached to very interesting and fun fantasies” about how to separate it from “normal everyday life”, they say.
What can you do about sadness at the end of summer?
The easiest way to banish end-of-summer sadness might be to look forward to fall. Back-to-school nerves can also be motivating, which is why September is often like the start of a new year. People are going back to fitness classes, taking up hobbies and refocusing at work.
There is also enough to be in the fall. Humorist Colin Nissan, whose essay – and now book – It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers hits social media every September, says he “feels more alive in autumn”. He rushes to apple picking and corn mazes the same way I drop everything to get to the beach in the summer. Autumn is pleasant, he says, with the yellow colors, the sweaters and yes, the cabbages. His advice to melancholic summer lovers like me: embrace autumn. “Autumn has a lot to offer. People might write it off as a temporary holiday … I would recommend treating autumn as your own and giving it the respect it deserves.”
To manage end-of-summer anxiety, Rosmarin recommends four steps. The first is to find what you are afraid of. “Is it because you missed the summer? Are you afraid of the coming fall? Is there a special issue, like the election?” he says.
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The second step is to share your feelings—whether with a therapist, friend, or family member. They may say they feel the same way, which makes you feel less isolated. The third step is to embrace these feelings. “You will feel anxious. Everyone does,” says Rosmarin. “Anxiety gets worse when you correct it and better when you accept it.”
The fourth step is the most difficult step: let go of control. All four steps together, he adds, “turn anxiety into a catalyst for core growth in various areas of life.”
But … I just miss summer. What should I do?
For me, Rosmarin’s four steps would feel the simplest in the summer. It’s easy to lose control because when it’s glorious outside, things matter less; it’s easy to feel presence and empathy when the sun shines on your limbs. Rosmarin points out that I am afraid of losing all this lightness and connection. “The answer is, you could,” he says. “Can we let go of this need for it and then come back to it next March?”
We can also make these last precious weeks count. Carmel recommends creating a short, manageable list: “What’s so debilitating is when you have so much you want to do. A list could be as simple as: Go swimming, try that new place to eat, spend a day at the park with a friend.
“Really, what makes a good time?” they say. “Doing something you love with someone you love, which is a basic concept in the world.” You can do it anywhere. You could sit on the couch for a week with your best friend and it’s a good summer.”
It’s true that some of the things we love about summer are available to us all year round; in a way it’s weird to appreciate them more just because the days are warmer. And as for what truly is more fun when it’s sunny, there’s always next year.
#Summer #coming #panicking